Aging gracefully and practicing self-care

It seems I’ve hit my midlife marker rather quickly and am thinking more about aging gracefully and practicing self-care. What makes a woman beautiful at our age? I take great joy at listening to the advice given to me by the many women that I find empowering. And still, I ask myself this question over and over again, almost as if a genie will magically appear with an answer.

Feeling optimistic about the future when I woke up today, I believe that life needs to be relevant every day moving forward because at some point it will be over.  Don’t worry this isn’t going to be a morbid read; I am a true optimist. However, there are days when things do seem a bit doom and gloom. Who knows what sets these days off for any of us? Yesterday, for instance,  I had a picture taken with a friend, and I feel that I looked awful. As a result, I was down on myself all day and my poor husband had to bear the brunt of my horrific mood.

Yes, I am a little unhappy about my physical appearance, but who isn’t?  My body is so uncooperative these days and yesterday that awful picture of me made me cry. I felt unattractive, heavy, and unappealing. I completely looked past the happy occasion of seeing my friend, to only see my aging imperfections. I know we all have these days, and I often wonder why.  Perhaps these negative ho-hum days are simply nature’s way of shaking things up and keeping us on our toes. At least that’s what I’d like to believe.

I’m continually learning how to care for myself on a truly profound level. I am growing my floral business, practicing self-care, and making time to be creative. I hope that women at midlife realize that it is all up to us to do our own nurturing.  We are our own gardeners taking care of our own exquisite, precious, aromatic, grand, and pretentious blooms. It’s important that as we age we care for ourselves. No one else knows how. Do they?

It seems I’ve hit my midlife marker rather quickly and wonder what makes a woman beautiful at our age? I take great joy at listening to the advice given to me by the many aging women that I find empowering. And still, I ask myself this question over and over again, almost as if a genie will magically appear with an answer. What makes an aging woman beautiful?

I’m continually learning how to care for myself on a truly profound level. Ladies, at midlife I hope you realize that it is all up to us to do our own nurturing.  We are our own gardeners taking care of our own exquisite, precious, aromatic, grand, and pretentious blooms. We know we have to, for no one else knows how. Do they?

I know that we need to love ourselves first – I’ve invested good money in therapy for that bit of wisdom. I know that my life has a purpose and is relevant in some way to those around me. And I know I am a beautiful woman.

But, we all have moments where we become lazy, let our guard down, or allow one photo to send us to tears. It’s only human nature, after all. Each time that happens and I let my guard down, my mindfulness about my needs drops. When this happens, I am no longer in my happy place, and I become downhearted.  I like being happy, we all do – we thrive on it. But here’s another thing I have learned over the years, happiness comes when we work at it. If I’m not diligent, I can quickly fall into a cycle and stop working at it, and then I pay the price. This time it manifested itself in my physical appearance. And this devastates me. When you get down, what triggers you back to your happy place?

My grandmother used to tell me that we need to work harder at maintaining our beauty as we age. She would say to me, “When you are young, beauty is a given, your skin naturally glows, your figure maintains itself naturally and there is no need for makeup.”  She would share with me that as we age we’ll need to work harder at keeping up our appearance. A key bit of advice? Never forget your lipstick! My grandmother also offered a redeeming thought about aging. “You’ll know if you’ve aged well if you’ve become a charming woman.” I didn’t listen to it much back then, but it’s all coming back to me. Now, I understand what she meant by it – to be charming encompasses so many attributes. Being charming comes to us by experience.  

I fought this realization tooth and nail, and I have to finally bid farewell to my youth and am confidently prepared to move on.  So, on this public forum, I’d like to say goodbye to my youth as it has served me well. Feeling and looking good about myself (nearly effortlessly) once made me happy but now it’s time for me to embrace my age and my charm. It’s essential for me to publicly state the obvious so that my brain will finally figure it out when I’m in the fitting room trying to hang on to my size 6!

What fears do you have about getting older? Are you practicing self-care?

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