If you slow down the epiphany will come. Why?
This is the summer I wish had never ended. It was truly the best I’ve had in a very long time. I did exactly what needed to be done – really slow down. As a wife, mother and businesswoman who wants it all before she is six feet under, my agenda was full. By the end of the school year I felt totally drained. It took me a few weeks to dig deep and figure out that in order to continue creating my life on my terms, something had to give. So I opted for a break. Thankfully, I’ve come to a point in life when I pay attention to the signals that life so astutely gives in order to reevaluate.
Coincidently I celebrated a birthday; one approaching half a century and realized this natural peak occurring during the cycle of life. It became apparent that I needed to do an inventory of all of the choices up to now and if they were significant enough in the scope of the universe to make a difference.
I’ve talked about this in the past – day-to-day accumulation – but this can be applied to life as well. It is startling how the acculturation that occurs while we are not paying strict attention to our everyday actions can creep up to add unnecessary clutter in our internal closet. When I find myself just taking care of the day-to-day without the love and kindness which needs to go into every action I do, I truly feel empty. This emptiness is unmistakably debilitating. With it I feel fear and loneliness.
The vigilant work to keep oneself centered is truly a constant journey. My journey proved itself exhausting yet magnificent in the same breath. What a contradiction! One that can only be explained through the wisdom you reach while actually living. The only way to explain what happened to me at this particular time in my life is the blessing of a true inner desire to fulfill my journey at life. It’s easy to get caught up in the doing of things, accomplishing, schedule keeping, chore doing, planning to do, busy work, which understandably is so vital for sustaining a well-lived life. However, I’m finding it’s not truly complete until we actively seek an inner peace.
For me it’s become a lesson in servitude.
I serve my body. I’ve learned through trial and error that by treating it respectfully, my body is truly a temple. I serve my family and help create the loving environment to thrive in for them. I serve my neighbors by being kind and friendly and always offering help wherever I can. I serve my planet by constantly advocating for its safety.
The meaning of life is that simple to me.
Realizing everyone will leave this world; some of us with a bit more to learn than others; some with a ray of sunshine in their hearts ready to light up the universe; all with the choice on how to make a difference to create beautiful things in all aspects of our being. Having a natural code to live by, which is simple, creates a remarkable stay here on this precious planet. How comforting and enlightening to truly understand the simplicity to live a well lived life for the years to come – the last half of my life.
So with that deep introspective analysis on life this past summer, I offer you this.
Let’s just continue to create beautiful lives of service to others for the benefit of all. I thank you for letting me explore my deepest thoughts on such a personal matter.
Now this is what it looked like …
I stopped everything more or less. First thing I did was turn the TV on. YES! Me. I watched every episode of Housewives out there. I never knew these women were really so entertaining. Hours were spent mindlessly tuned in to see what craziness would come from these women. I loved the drama – maybe because it belonged to someone else and I was just an outsider looking in for the Summer.
My garden died! Yes, it did. Let me explain. We did manage to travel a lot. We went away to Ireland, OBX and for a couple of weeks camped out at my Mom’s upper east side apartment in the city. I had no one to take care of the garden for me, and to plant it with vegetables was futile in my opinion. It seemed that when I was home it was to launder the clothes, pack and off we went again. This meant one less thing to take care of. Fine by me. This year.
What I realized is that life is a constant similar to the ocean. We have the storms that come and go, and the beautiful sunsets that totally take our breath away. We have the surprises that wash up on shore and we have the painful experiences while walking on a rocky shore. But the rhythm of the ocean is always the same.
My biggest concern for the past summer was my boys. We’ve never put them in a full time camp because we always enjoyed just letting them hang out during the long summer months. But now I have my business. How could I juggle both obligations? It just seem like I couldn’t do both. The boys required a lot of my personal attention that wasn’t available if I was on the computer or on the phone with customers. I knew one had to give. And of course it was my business. As women, sacrifice comes natural. So after pondering, and plenty of cranky time, I just let go. I let nature take it course – the boys will come first after all! That’s why I stayed at home to begin with.
What was the outcome?
I allowed myself the freedom to just relax. To live to create a slow home in which it’s ok not to be plugged into some electrical apparatus and to just kick back and just enjoy. I dislike it so much when my boys are seeing me connected to my computer and not paying any attention to them. It just seem like we’re moving in a very solitary world if we continue that way.
Now was the time to give myself total peace and just relax and enjoy my time not working and with the boys. That meant no blogging, minimal calls for appointments. No strategizing and no business. And that was just fine with all of us.
Now school is back and so am I, with a renewed sense of who I am and who I want to be – today, tomorrow and for years to come. I hope you are blessed with the same gift of inner peace at some point. Let me hear from you on your struggles and your blessings!